realization

i am not a huge fan of birthdays, just another reminder of how fast my kids are growing up, how many wrinkles i have acquired since the last birthday, and how fast my life is passing by.  with the passing of my uh.. umm... 29th birthday (for the 9th time), i have come to some rather real but frightening realization.  i have become a lot of things i would define as "what i didn't want to be".  i don't clean my house every week, i don't read my kids a book everyday, i don't make dinner every night, i don't go to the gym everyday, i don't tell my family i love them enough... i could go on and on.  i don't do a lot of things that i used to do and used to tell myself i was never not going to not do them. i find my self slacking more and more on things that used to be routine or habit for me. maybe it's an age thing, the wiser you are the older you are?  i am beginning to wonder if all of those things that i rushed to do and stressed over to do were really worth all that effort.  my girlfriend said something to me that really struck a chord with me. she said that she used to hate birthdays and that she would get depressed with each passing one and than someone said something to her that changed her outlook on birthdays.  they told her that you should be grateful for your birthday, it was one more year that heavenly father allowed you to be here. to be with your family, to be with your friends, to just be.  i found this quote by president hinckley that also struck a chord with me:

anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. the fact is that most putts don’t drop. most beef is tough. most children grow up to be just ordinary people. most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration.most jobs are more often dull than otherwise…life is like an old-time rail journey – delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. the trick is to thank the lord for letting you have the ride… gordon b. hinckley

between these 2 profound statements, the realization that i am getting older,  is ok. i need to be ok. i need to just be. i need to be more thankful for the life that heavenly father has let me live and learn to love this life.  and i guess bottom line, love me. they always say change is good, but change is hard.  with another year coming to an end i often reflect on how that year went.  on how i can try and be better and how i can make this coming year better.  this year i am going to try to just be. just be thankful for life as it is. because really, life is good.